October is a time for communities across the nation to stand together and build support for safe and healthy intimate relationships. It’s officially Domestic Violence Awareness Month and you will find fund raising family events around town that donate their proceeds to local domestic abuse shelters and resource centers, and national organizations.
You may be surprised to learn that domestic violence happens everywhere. It is an often hidden and silent killer that could be affecting your neighbor down the street or even a friend. The sad part is that many of us know someone who is the victim of domestic abuse but we don’t realize it. The facts are that one in four women in the U.S. will experience it at some point in her life. It occurs in all age groups, religions, socio-economic statuses, races and education levels. Women have a higher rate of becoming victims (about 85%), but men can be affected as well. And, approximately 1 in 3 teenagers experience some kind of abuse while dating each year.
Some states have higher levels of domestic violence than others. Alaska, for example, has one of the highest rates in the country. Almost 75% of residents have been victims of sexual assault or domestic violence, or know someone who has. Furthermore, according to the Violence Policy Center, South Carolina currently ranks #1 for the number of women murdered by men. This has been an ongoing issue in the state over the past 15 years. To give you some perspective, 61 women were murdered by men in 2011, which was more than twice the national average.
Stress, alcohol or drugs and mental illness can aggravate abusive behavior but it is really a choice that the abuser makes. He or she establishes a pattern of behavior that can include physical abuse, threats, jealousy, over protectiveness, financial control, humiliation or embarrassment in front of others, anger, threatening or abusing pets, denial of healthcare and/or stalking. This allows them to maintain control over their partner in an unhealthy way. In many situations, this behavior can go on for years because the victim is afraid to try and leave or tell anyone due to the repercussions they might endure from the abuser. Or, the victim might not have the access to finances to get out from under the mess.
Prevention is key to breaking the cycle of abuse. If an abuser gets involved with the judicial system, he or she will most likely be assigned Domestic Violence or Batterer’s Intervention Program (BIP) as part of their retribution. The good news is that it is possible to change and overcome the need to perpetrate this behavior. For many men, growing up in a household in which they witnessed domestic violence has led to an adulthood of thinking this is acceptable.
Online domestic violence courses are becoming the most popular way to break the cycle of violence. Classes can be taken from the privacy and quiet of home, from any of the 50 states. All the participant needs is Internet access and you can learn the skills necessary to manage stress, develop empathy, strengthen positive communication and listening techniques, and find a sustainable path for a healthier and safer life.
