What To Expect If Your Are Arrested For Domestic Violence Allegations

by Dr. Ari Novick – July 22, 2014

Has your anger been getting the better of you? Does it last too long, get too intense or even lead to aggression? Have you been managing your anger until this point, but now feel like you are losing control? Living your life with these angry feelings can cause all sorts of problems. Physically you might have started to experience high blood pressure or gastrointestinal problems. You get mad, you start to sweat, your stomach tightens, you clench your jaw, your face turns red, you start to tremble and your judgment becomes cloudy. Then things happen that you later regret. This is not how you need to live your life and you can take action to change it!

Numerous studies show that many individuals who have anger management issues learned this habit-forming behavior in childhood. Boys who grow up in a household in which they witness abuse are twice as likely to abuse their own intimate partners and kids when they grow up. Often times, these angry feelings unfortunately result in some form of domestic abuse. In fact, the CDC reports that about 1.3 million women become the victims of physical violence by their intimate partner each year and almost 1/3 of female homicide victims are killed by their boyfriend, husband or ex-husband. Before your intimate partner relationship reaches a tragic level, get help. As you may have already experienced, in some states such as Alaska, Colorado, Oregon, Rhode Island, Utah and Washington, if a phone call is made to the police during an altercation, officers must place the offender under arrest and a hearing is usually set for 24 – 48 hours later.

So, now what can you expect? At the first hearing, the judge will take a look at all the facts and decide whether there is probable cause and what limitations should be imposed on the abuser. One of the first things the judge will decide is whether you can have any contact with the victim. This means if you are perceived to be a threat to your former spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend, child or a relative, a protective order will be imposed so that you will be arrested if you get near them or bother them in any way for a period of time. The judge will also determine if the children involved are unsafe in any way. If so, full custody will be granted to the victim in the form of a restraining order.

The next court date you can expect is the arraignment. You will be formally told what all the accusations are and what your options are. Then you can expect a pre-trial hearing within the next 30 days in which the court monitors the progress of your case, makes sure that you are following any orders that were issued and discusses any new issues that have arisen. This is a time when many cases are resolved before they go to a formal trial stage. If your case continues on to the trial, the prosecutor must prove all the elements of your crime beyond a reasonable doubt. If you still haven’t come to a negotiated resolution during this time, your case will progress to sentencing. Each case and state will vary on the resulting implications for the offender, but they can include covering all medical expenses, lost wages, counseling and legal expenses and damaged property for the victim, as well as more jail time, community service hours, fines and mandatory Batterers Intervention Classes (BIP) ranging from 8 – 52 sessions.

Domestic Violence classes are generally court ordered to teach offenders how to “unlearn” this negative pattern of behavior. Defendants learn how to understand what triggers the abusive behavior and positive alternative ways to handle stress, trauma or upsetting situations. The goal is to develop better communication skills, improve mental and physical health, strengthen relationships and create a better-balanced approach to life. These classes can be taken online with approval from the judge or locally at traditional in-person classroom settings. Do the research to find the best and most convenient program for your needs. This is the one thing that some judges will often work with you on so you don’t have to miss more work or school to get to mandatory classes.

Recognizing The Signs Of Digital Abuse

by Dr. Ari Novick – July 15, 2014

Do you ever take a look at your relationship and consider that the way you treat your partner is unhealthy? It can be an extremely difficult realization for anyone to come to. It might be that your partner has finally walked out or has threatened divorce, or the law has gotten involved and you are left behind knowing that things have to change. To successfully move forward and really break the cycle, you must not minimize or deny your role in the situation, but instead take responsibility for all of your actions. As long as you are willing to educate yourself on what it means to be in a healthy relationship, get professional help and make a commitment to bettering yourself, you can begin to create healthier relationships.

Usually, when you hear the term “domestic abuse”, images of physical violence and battering come into our mind. We picture someone who comes to school or work with a black eye, or a broken arm without any good explanation for it, especially if this happens more than once. However, a growing problem in today’s world is not something you can see, it’s all mental and visual and is called “digital abuse”. It’s a type of controlling and bullying behavior that occurs online via social networking sites, or through text messaging that is disrespectful, lowers the partner’s self-esteem or manipulates them to do something or act a certain way. Basically, one person wants to gain the upper hand over the other person by checking up on them, stalking their online interactions or posting negative and hurtful things about them, therefore causing emotional stress.

Online abuse is something that has unfortunately become more and more prevalent amongst teenagers. In one study from the Urban Institute, researchers surveyed 5,647 young adults in 10 northeastern schools. A whopping 26% of dating teens reported experiencing online abuse from boyfriends/girlfriends and 17% said they were bullied by friends.

When reviewing your relationship, one of the first things you should ask yourself is do you feel like you trust each other? If you are exhibiting any of the following types of behavior, you aren’t being loyal, caring and attentive but instead are exhibiting unhealthy, overbearing and possessive behavior:

1. You ask or steal passwords on the sly so you can monitor online activity.

2. You look through his or her phone, checking emails, texts and/or recent calls without permission.

3. You post pictures and tag your partner in compromising or embarrassing situations.

4. You constantly text your partner asking questions like “Who are you with?” or “What are you doing?” and become angry if they don’t respond right away.

5. You make your partner feel like they have to constantly be monitoring their phone for any word from you for fear of reprisal.

6. You demand or send explicit pictures without approval.

7. You monitor who your partner is “friends” with on social media sites.

Think about how you are treating your partner. If you are suffocating them with constant calls, texts or by monitoring them with technology, it’s a type of abusive behavior that is unhealthy and unsafe. Your partner has a right to talk to whomever she/he wants to and if you want the relationship to last long-term, it’s time to get help.

Reduce Teen Dating Violence With An Educational DV Class

by Dr. Ari Novick – July 8, 2014

Our daily life is full of stress related to work, family, money, health, friendships and just keeping up with our busy schedules. Everyone experiences stress and anger over the way others behave or obstacles we run into, but everyone responds to it differently.

In most dv cases, individuals become overly possessive and create an abusive relationship because they need the feeling of having power and control over something in their life. There are several reasons for this to occur. One is that the person had a tough childhood. This was how they observed their parents behaving and was how they were brought up. Constantly fighting, throwing things and even physical abuse was the norm. Growing up in this atmosphere can contribute to insecurity and low self-esteem. In adulthood, these individuals find that one sure way to gain attention and control over things is to perpetuate this behavior. Initially, they might come across as loving and caring, but as the relationship develops over months or years, the person seeks to dominate the relationship through physical or mental abuse, isolation, stalking and monitoring the other person’s life.

The scary part is that getting involved in this type of relationship can start young. A recent study published in the Annals of Emergency Medicine reports that after surveying about 4,000 teens aged 14 to 20 who came into a suburban ER department, 1 out of 5 girls and 1 out of 8 boys reported they had experienced dating violence over the past year. This is particularly dangerous not only for safety reasons, but because teens tend to normalize the behavior. Teens that experience abusive behavior usually keep it quiet because they don’t want to get anyone in trouble, they don’t want to draw attention to the situation, or they just blame themselves and explain it away that this is how it should be.

There are some specific warning signs to look for in your own or a friend’s abusive relationship:

1. Does the intimate partner get easily jealous and possessive?

2. Do you or your friend feel sad, insecure or afraid when in the presence of the intimate partner?

3. Does the partner mandate what to do, how to act and how to dress or look?

4. Does the person have a history of fighting, uncontrolled angry outbursts, or mistreating others?

5. Is the partner constantly checking up on you via texting, phone calls or by showing up wherever you are?

6. Does the intimate partner insult you in front of others or threaten you if you don’t shape up?

7. Does the person blame you for their negative, obnoxious and inappropriate behavior saying that you provoked the response?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, it’s time to get help, educate yourself and get others involved. Know that you are not alone and seek support from friends and family. If it’s your friend, let them know that you are aware of what’s going on and it’s not their fault. Reassure them that you love them and come up with a list of reasonable ways to support them. Listen to your fears and create a safety plan including extra money to access and places to go in case of emergency.

Are You In A Verbally Abusive Relationship?

by Dr. Ari Novick – June 25, 2014

Some people are in abusive relationships and don’t even realize it. For a teenager, it might be his or her first intimate partner and they think the behavior is normal. For an adult, you might have grown up in an abusive household and don’t know any better. Being involved in an abusive relationship doesn’t necessarily mean that you are being physically battered, but instead you might be feeling confused, lonely and alone because of emotional and verbal abuse.

Some signs that your intimate partner relationship is unhealthy include:

1. You are constantly living in an atmosphere of fear, submission, intimidation and uncertainty.

2. You are being isolated from your close friends and family.

3. Your partner monitors your email, social networks and voice mail messages.

4. Your spouse or boyfriend reacts with jealousy and rage about the smallest things. For example, he storms off if you happen to talk to another father while you are watching your daughter at a dance recital.

5. You are the recipient of demeaning verbal attacks designed to lower your self-esteem.

Verbal abuse is one of the common problems that victims in domestic abuse situations face. In many cases, the abuser starts out charming so the recipient is caught off guard by the behavior. As the partner wants to gain more control in the relationship, he/she begins to subtly put down the spouse. It might start out as light humor about you like “My wife is such a teenager, I can’t get her to clean up anything!” It then escalates to direct criticism in which he insists that it’s “for your own good” so you can be aware and better yourself. This behavior might happen in front of others or mostly at home so that those around you have no idea about the destructive relationship. You work hard to change your ways to please him, but it’s never enough. Another common sign is that the spouse loses control of his angry behavior, yelling and screaming to blow off steam. Instead of taking ownership for this inappropriate reaction, he/she blames the victim for it. For example, “If you would stop being so flirty, I wouldn’t have to act this way!” You try to respond and defend yourself but he refuses to discuss it. You are left feeling horrible and always at fault. No matter how hard you work at making him happy, it’s never enough and you are left depressed and feeling like you are nuts!

Individuals who use verbal abuse to control their partners lack empathy and compassion. They utilize these tactics to make the spouse feel like they aren’t as important, are unattractive, and unintelligent. The victims blame themselves and try to adapt to the lifestyle, always hoping that things will get better.

If you see yourself in this type of relationship, stop trying to defend his behavior and believe in yourself. Go and get support from a therapist, talk to family and friends and understand that you can’t change the abuser. He or she has to want to make a change, which he can do by seeking professional help, and taking educationally based classes to learn new skills.

Don't Let A Friend's Abusive Tendencies Go Unnoticed

by Dr. Ari Novick – June 12, 2014

It’s been 20 years since Nicole Brown Simpson’s murder. Many of us watched the story unfold on national TV with the Bronco chase down the freeway, her sister’s very public interviews about the history of battery that Nicole experienced during her marriage to OJ Simpson and then the ongoing “Trial of the Century”. This case was a huge red flag to women across the country that battery can lead to murder. In fact, it spurred Congress to pass the Violence Against Women Act, which provided a huge amount of federal funding to raise awareness of the issue, and made it mandatory for police officers to arrest abusers.

In listening to both abusers and victims on a daily basis, it is apparent that each domestic violence situation is different. In some cases, it’s a teenage relationship that has turned frightening, in others the couple has been married for decades and one partner has been taking the physical or emotional abuse over and over again behind closed doors. In many cases, the abuser is an upstanding citizen, charming and helpful to those around him (like OJ), so it goes undetected unless the victim reaches out for help. The underlying similarity in every situation is that the abuser is looking for control and power in the relationship.

You might think, how has our relationship deteriorated to this point? How does this happen? How did I let it happen? In Nicole’s case, she was married to a famous athlete and TV personality, complained to friends and family about her fears, had gotten out of the relationship to the extent she could and it still happened.

The bottom line is that if you are a perpetrator or victim in an abusive relationship, it will most likely keep happening until the perpetrator addresses the behavior through therapy and education. It’s a cycle that starts with an angry interaction. The abuser is triggered by something in the relationship that makes him feel insecure. For example, his girlfriend is talking to another man at a party, a loss of a job or the perception that his wife is more successful than he is. Then the uncontrollable violence occurs followed by shame and even sorrow. The abuser apologizes and promises it will never happen again so life goes back to normal until it does happen again.

In many situations, the abuser is afraid to get out of the relationship because of the perceived repercussions or financial restraints. If you suspect that someone you know is being abused or that you know an abuser, it’s important that you do and say something before it’s too late. It’s time to put aside any worries you have about hurting your friendship and save a life. Talk to the person and tell him what you think. Draw attention to his actions while it’s happening with comments like “Did you mean to put her down in front of everyone? That’s just hurtful and embarrassing for her”. Take a strong stance and explain why he/she shouldn’t threaten, bully or hit others. Suggest he give you a call to help calm down whenever he feels like he’s losing control. Call the police if you witness anything violent!

If you think you are abusive, you might think you can get over it on your own. The fact is that the only way to truly change your behavior is by getting help from a therapist or group programs. It will take time and effort, but is essential to keep you out of the legal system and to save the relationship.

Louisiana Passes New Domestic Violence Laws

by Dr. Ari Novick – June 2, 2014

Domestic violence laws in Louisiana just got tougher and not a minute too soon. According to the Louisiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence from 2010 -2012 there were 178 deaths due to domestic violence, 74% of which were due to a firearm. In a state that rates second in the nation for homicides associated with domestic abuse, there is a joint sigh of relief as Governor Bobby Jindal signed new laws into place last week.

Currently, whenever a police officer is called to a scene and has reason to believe that a member of the household has been abused, it’s the responsibility of the officer to prevent escalation by arresting the abuser. A first time offender convicted of domestic violence in the state of Louisiana faces up to 6 months in jail and a $1,000 fine. Furthermore, as the courts have seen an ongoing and increasing problem, the judge also can assign domestic violence prevention classes. The purpose of the classes is to break ongoing cycle of abuse by helping the offender recognize the triggers that make him/her so angry, educating them on how to reduce the source of anger and finally teaching new anger management tools. Research shows that throwing someone in jail isn’t enough. Chronic intense anger that leads to domestic violence is not normal and the anger can be reduced with therapy, education and motivation.

The states updated domestic violence laws will hopefully deter potential offenders and help reduce the number of victims the state sees each year. They include:

1. Gwen’s Law – this law adds new restrictions to allowing a defendant out on bail in a dv situation. The name comes from a recent high profile case in which Michael Salley was bonded out of jail and then proceeded to take his wife Gwen to a dead-end road and brutally kill her. Now, the law requires that a court conduct a hearing before letting the perpetrator out on bail. If they find any possibility that he/she is still dangerous and could inflict further harm, the court can deny bail and keep the individual in jail until the court date, effectively enforcing a cooling off period. It also stipulates that the victim have a protective order and the offender to where an electronic monitoring device so they can be tracked.

2. It is now a crime for a person convicted of misdemeanor domestic abuse in Louisiana to carry or possess a firearm for 10 years. Any weapons must be surrendered.

3. Domestic abuse is now considered grounds for immediate divorce.

4. Domestic abuse is now added to the list of crimes of violence. This makes it so offenders have to serve 85% of their sentence without probation or parole.

5. Offenders are now required to take a 26-week court ordered domestic abuse intervention program to educate perpetrators and change abusive behavior.

6. Protective order filings will be expedited so there isn’t potential for a situation to occur because of a lag time in paperwork.

Supporters of the legislation are thankful and grateful that their legislators have finally taken on the NRA and other organizations to successfully set these laws into place for future generations.

Top 10 States For Female Homicide

by Dr. Ari Novick – May 21, 2014

Domestic abuse is a learned behavior and can be unlearned with the proper training and education. Most abusers grow up in households or around role models that perpetuate this behavior. It becomes an ingrained way of behaving to get control over someone or vent anger, which the individual often carries with him or her into adulthood. Everyone from every race, culture, economic status and even education level can be susceptible to following this negative path. The abuser might be the college professor down the street just as well as the plumber. In fact, veteran actor Michael Jace who has appeared in Planet of the Apes, Forrest Gump and most recently The Shield on FX, was arrested last night for shooting and killing his wife of 11 years in their home with their children present. The sad statistics show that domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to 15 – 44 year old women in the U.S.

In 2011, the following states had the highest rates of female homicide:

1. South Carolina

2. Alaska

3. Oklahoma

4. Delaware

5. Arizona

6. Tennessee

7. Idaho

8. West Virginia

9. Louisiana

10. New Mexico

Women don’t decide that this is the life they want. Often times the abuser starts out to be charming and attentive. The offender often portrays himself as a loving and caring spouse to outsiders. Michael Jace’s neighbors report that they never heard any arguments or saw any violence coming from his house and that they seemed like a happy couple. Things begin to break down over time, as the abuser becomes more and more intent on total control.

There is generally a pattern in the behavior of an intimate partner who eventually kills. The male becomes physically violent and blames the victim for his reaction. The female stands up to him or tries to resist and he gets even more abusive. The female then attempts to end the relationship, tell others about him or tries to get away. He is left feeling humiliated and furious and ends up punishing her by killing her.

Number 5 on the 2011 list above, at least 139 individuals lost their lives due to domestic violence fatalities in Arizona in 2012. The majority, 83%, of these victims in 2012 died due to gunshot wounds. Tragically, according to the Arizona Department of Health Services, one or more children witness domestic violence every 44 minutes. Both of Michal Jace’s children were home when he killed their mother.

In the heat of the moment, domestic violence offenders do irreversible and horrible things because they are frustrated and upset. After the fact, they are often left ashamed and humiliated and beg forgiveness. Many times, the partner hopes that things will truly change and stays in the relationship. Unfortunately, without help through domestic violence therapy and education, the cycle continues. Things may remain calm for a period of time, weeks even months. However, without learning new tools to correct the behavior, it will eventually surface again. If you are an offender or know someone who is, get help before it’s too late. Michael Jace has lost his wife, his children and his life as he knows it. Don’t let this happen to you.

Domestic Abusers Can Learn Prevention Strategies To Stop Behavior

by Dr. Ari Novick – April 22, 2014

Although there has been a huge groundswell in this country to address domestic violence, it is still a significant problem. Perpetrators of domestic violence come from all walks of life from the very wealthy, educated and famous to those with high school diplomas living at poverty level. In fact, today NBC Sports reported that Keyshawn Johnson, the former NY Jets wide receiver and current ESPN analyst, was arrested early this morning for misdemeanor domestic battery after grabbing his ex-girlfriends cell phone and injuring her hand. Other high profile individuals accused of domestic abuse over the years include Ike Turner, Mel Gibson, Charlie Sheen, Alec Baldwin, Chris Brown, and Daryl Strawberry.

It can happen to anyone, both male and female, young and old, so it’s important for everyone to be aware of. Some famous victims include Tina Turner, Mariah Carey, Madonna, and even President Bill Clinton. If you, your teenager or grandmother is in a relationship in which an intimate partner is physically or mentally controlling, it’s time to get help. Studies show that often victims don’t leave the relationship because the offender promises “it will never happen again” or they hope things will change. Actually, it’s not a completely unsolvable problem, but the perpetrator has to be at a point where he or she is ready to take responsibility for their actions and learn new skills to make a change.

In many domestic abuse situations, the offender has come from a long history of family violence. Parents or grandparents have role modeled this behavior as acceptable and through the child’s development into adulthood this is all they’ve known. In fact, a person’s close social circle of family members, friends, and neighborhoods has the greatest influence on the risk factors for this type of behavior.

The solution is to break the cycle of abuse by using prevention strategies taught in such places as anger management classes, supportive peer mentoring programs, church groups or during individual therapy. Online Batterers Intervention Classes are also available for people who like to learn at their own pace and on their own. These type of programs can be taken in the privacy of one’s home so it doesn’t have become a public issue, the individual doesn’t have to miss any work, and doesn’t have to drive to another county to find a decent class.

If you are not quite sure if you would fall under this definition, ask yourself some of these questions. Would you treat your friends, boss or mother the same way you’ve been treating your spouse? Have you had trouble keeping long-term relationships due to your controlling or abusive behavior? Would you want another man or woman treating your teenager the way you treat your spouse? Has your partner expressed unhappiness because you are being unreasonable? Take a look at your answers. If you recognize your unhealthy behavior, you can address the abuse by understanding your triggers, taking a look at your drug and alcohol intake, improving your level of empathy and learning new anger and stress management skills.

Basic Characteristics of a Perpetrator of Domestic Violence

by Dr. Ari Novick – April 15, 2014

Domestic violence or Batterers Intervention Programs are generally court ordered for individuals convicted of domestic abuse. The term “domestic violence” is used to describe a relationship in which there is a pattern of controlling and coercive behavior that leaves the victim unsafe, insecure and dependent on the abuser. This might include physical abuse as well as emotionally threatening and verbal abuse, isolating the victim and/or controlling finances. The behavior can be perpetrated upon a spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend or even towards an older family member in the person’s care.

Studies show that offenders come from all over the world, all races and religions, educational levels and socio-economic brackets. However, domestic abusers generally exhibit the same basic characteristics. These include:

1. They want to achieve total power and control over the relationship.

2. They often present dual personalities. It’s the old Jekyll and Hyde. People outside of the relationship are often not aware that there’s a problem because in public the abuser maintains a loving and normal demeanor. This can make it really difficult for the victim to get help because their story doesn’t seem plausible.

3. They play the blame game. The abuser avoids taking any responsibility for his or her actions by putting the burden on the victim or situation. They say that it’s the stress of the relationship, or they had too much drink and can’t remember what they did. Or, they tell the victim that if he or she would change or stop provoking the abuser, then it wouldn’t happen. This leaves the victim constantly fearful and walking on eggshells.

4. They minimize and deny their destructive behavior. They come up with excuses for controlling all the funds or viewing their email. The abuser tries to justify his or her behavior as normal and make the victim feel like they are overreacting.

It’s a vicious cycle that repeats itself throughout the relationship. It starts with some sort of tension that causes an argument. This is followed by an act of violence or an increase in controlling behavior. If the abuser does acknowledge his bad behavior, he often will beg for forgiveness and promise to never do it again. This leads to a honeymoon period in which the couple feels close again and things feel calm. Unfortunately, if the abuser doesn’t do anything to learn how to change his or her ways, the cycle continues and often escalates.

If you see yourself in this type of relationship, it’s imperative to get help immediately. As a victim, reach out to friends for support. Its true that people want to help but are often afraid of meddling in your personal affairs, or causing you more trouble. Look into local shelters and get advice from social workers in your community. Also, do small things like getting an extra set of keys to the car and house in case he/she tries to take these things from you.

If you see yourself as the abuser, the good news is that there are effective dv programs in place to help motivated people change their ways. Look into local Batterers Intervention Programs, get one on one counseling, join an anger management group or take an online domestic violence class. You can learn how to break the cycle and start on a healthier, safer and happier path.

New Ruling From Supreme Court Says No Guns For Those Convicted of Misdemeanor Domestic Abuse

by Dr. Ari Novick – March 31, 2014

Did you know that Abused women are five times more likely to be killed by their abuser if the abuser owns a firearm? With this in mind, the U.S. Supreme court agreed in a unanimous ruling this past week, that makes it a crime for individuals convicted of domestic violence to have a gun. They concluded that the term “domestic violence” doesn’t just have to mean a violent physical assault, but can include things like pushing, slapping and grabbing. The justices concluded that minor uses of force like these could over time build up and contribute to one partner becoming subject to another’s control. The presence of a firearm increases the chances that when someone is violent, he or she might resort to homicide. In fact, statistics show that there is a 270% increase in likelihood that a woman will be murdered if a gun is present in the home. Specifically, between the years of 1980 and 2008 firearms killed more than 2/3 of divorced spouse homicide victims.

This federal ban strengthened the law by overturning decisions in parts of the country that said the gun ban only applied to convictions that involved “violent use of force”. Now it includes anyone convicted of misdemeanor domestic violence. The ultimate goal is to keep guns out of the hands of abusers for the safety of their intimate partners, children and families.

This ruling takes into consideration that there are signs of an abusive relationship that may not be physically violent, but could ultimately lead to disaster. Some of the signs to look for include:

1. Your intimate partner controls everything.

2. He/she yells at you and calls you names.

3. Your partner shoves, pinches, slaps or stalks you.

4. He/she threatens to hurt you, your family, the children or pets if you don’t do what he/she wants.

5. Substance abuse, unemployment, and/or depression.

An escalation of this type of non-violent domestic abuse is typical before the controlling partner snaps. The victim grows increasingly afraid, but doesn’t get out of the situation due to fear, financial instability, embarrassment or lack of a support network. Often times, the victim has been told that if she ever leaves, the abuser will kill her.

An abusive relationship is a serious matter. If you or someone you know is at risk, get help before it’s too late. Once the call to 911 is made, the police can’t ignore the situation but almost always must make an arrest. This will be followed up with some amount of jail time, fines, court mandated batterers intervention classes and a temporary restraining order. And, as previously discussed, the loss of the right to possess a gun. If you are an offender and a member of the military you might lose your career and military benefits. Future employers will see the offense on your record, which could affect hiring. It’s just a downward spiral for everyone involved.

Abusers can learn to break the cycle by getting one-on-one therapy, entering anger management classes or by taking a Batterers Intervention Program or Domestic Violence classes online. It is not a life sentence, but a behavior that can be overcome by utilizing various stress and anger management techniques. Take the challenge today to make a positive change and create a better future for yourself and loved ones.

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